There may be a lot of understanding between the spouses before becoming parents. The topics many couples have discussion about usually do not involve parenting methods. Since each person would have different experience regarding upbringing, it’s pretty common that parents would have differences when it comes to picking the parenting style for upbringing of their children. However, it doesn’t mean that ne parenting style should be correct and other should be wrong for the conflict to occur. It’s purely about the style of parenting, and the conflict can occur due to lack of synchronization.
With that said, it would be worth mentioning that having difference of opinion is not a bad thing. But, it can turn out to be a bad thing if left unresolved. Therefore, it is ideal for the parents to talk about the matter and work things out to adjust their parenting styles in order to get on the same page.
There are a few basic areas on which the parents need to share common grounds and take things synchronously forward.
Disciplining the children is the top concern of most of the parents. However, it is seen many times that one parent tries to remain strict on discipline while the other one tends to be lenient the entire time. This conflict of attitudes does not help in behavioral development of children because when the stricter parent will be in action, the children will instantly run to get shelter by the lenient one. It may also end up in a fight between the parents.
Therefore, the best solution is to work things out privately. Make sure that the children are not listening when you are having discussion about disciplining them with your partner. Both of you can agree upon setting some boundaries such as revoking privileges for certain duration or parental time-up instead of being too strict or too lenient. Make sure that both of you work as a team. When there would be limits on which you and your partner would agree upon, the child will learn about respecting both of you. Remember, the child should see both the tough and lenient sides in both of you instead of associating one attribute to each of the parents.
Food choice for children is another area of conflict parents seem concerned about. One parent may suggest having only the organic and healthy food for the children while the ‘fun parent’ might not mind having junk foods whenever the children want. Hence, the children would always request the fun parent to provide them with the food they like, greatly undermining the parent who advocates in the favor of organic and healthy foods.
Sometimes, the parent who doesn’t favor organic food may complain about the cost of organic foods. In that scenario, the conflict needs to be resolved in the same way as discussed in the ‘Discipline’ section. Both can agree on developing healthy food habits in the children, but both can also agree on giving fun foods to the children in specific days of the week.